Thursday, October 30, 2008
i realize, that recently my entries are all just pictures. i havent really been expressing much about whats going on in my life. and right now, i feel like there is a need to.im going through this mix of feelings that i dont know what to say. its so complex i dont know how to put it into words. but i'll try.
first, im sorry to you, dear. if in any way that i act pisses you off or made you uncomfortable. i didnt realize that. all i know is, im being myself. everything about me right now is myself. im not trying to impress anyone nor am i trying to get praises.. i know i have issues with my esteem. but thats me. it has been in me for years now i just cant help it. all i need is a friend to listen.. and then im okay. but i know i dont whine much to you though. cos i know you dont like to hear it.. so i share it with other gfs who whines, cries and complain to me as well. so im still kind of puzzled actually as to why u feel like that about me. like i said, i would be lying if i say that im not hurt. in fact deep down i feel a little angry. cos i find that its unfair for you to feel that way towards me. cos to me, i tried my best to be a good friend.. but its okay. its only natural for me to feel that way.. and anyway, the way you feel came from ur heart and no one can control them not even yourself.. and i know that you told me all that just to let me know what you really feel because i was the one who wanted to know. well, whats important to me now is that our friendship will still stay strong. thats all im hoping.. i love you girlfriend. xoxo
on a brighter side, i went to sentosa yesterday, AGAIN!
i just needed to chill by the beach.. lay down.. enjoy the breeze, not the sun tho. haha. so that was why we came really late. at about 4pm when the sun wasnt scorching hot anymore. and to our surprise, mary, aaron, zan and ayid was there! what a coincidence! but they left earlier than us, so it was only me and sawah left for the night.
it was such a beautiful night.. no one else was around. so it felt like the whole beach was ours. we watched the sunset and then made my way to the water. laid on water looking up to the dark sky watching the stars twinkle for about 30minutes. and then continued to lie down on land while listening to good music, singing our hearts out and watching the stars. to my surprise, i saw shooting stars!! it happened three times! that was my first encounter EVER. it was GORGEOUS. GORGEOUS. GORGEOUS. no words can describe how GORGEOUS it was.
we made our move at 10 and again, got the toilet to ourselves. somehow it felt like it was the greatest shower ever! lol.
we got SO DAMN hungry. so we bought pasta from 7-11 which ironically, tasted like the best meal ever too!
and to complete the beautiful night.. got to talk you. ;) thanks for calling.
Fallen.
Head over heels.
I've fallen.
In love with you.
I've fallen...
smiled at 3:44 PM
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